How to Handle Discovering Your Partner's Secret Correspondence with a Convicted Killer
In a striking revelation from the popular subreddit "relationship advice," a 29-year-old man recently shared his profound dilemma regarding his girlfriend of just over a year. The couple had been planning their future together, even reaching the stage where they were discussing moving in and sharing finances. He had even begun looking at engagement rings, feeling she was "the one" - describing her as smart, beautiful, funny, and beloved by everyone she met.
The situation took an unexpected turn when the man, while staying at his girlfriend's apartment during an illness, accidentally discovered a shoebox containing prison correspondence. These letters, exchanged between his girlfriend and a notorious criminal who had brutally murdered his pregnant wife and two young children, revealed an affectionate relationship that had continued until quite recently. This discovery has left him questioning everything about the relationship and seeking guidance on how to process this information and decide whether to confront her about what he found.
Key Takeaways
A man discovered his girlfriend was exchanging affectionate letters with a convicted murderer while they were planning to move in together.
The correspondence had been ongoing for years, including three months into their current relationship, without his knowledge.
The revelation has caused significant emotional distress and raised serious questions about trust, morality, and their future together.
The Unveiling of a Prison Correspondence
On a Reddit relationship advice forum, a 29-year-old man shared a troubling discovery about his girlfriend of one year. While staying at her apartment during an illness, he accidentally found a shoebox containing prison correspondence while searching for cleaning supplies after getting sick in her bathroom.
The letters revealed his 28-year-old girlfriend, whom he calls "Jay," had been exchanging affectionate messages with a notorious convicted murderer. This man, whose case gained national attention within the past five years, had brutally killed his pregnant wife and two young children. The correspondence began before the couple started dating but continued until just three months prior to the discovery.
This revelation deeply disturbed the poster, who had been planning their future together. The couple had been discussing moving in together and sharing finances, and he had even started looking at engagement rings. He described Jay as "smart, beautiful, funny" and "the best person" he had ever met.
The discovery left him conflicted and unsure how to proceed. While Jay had shared extensive details about her life, family, and past, she never mentioned communicating with anyone in prison. Though she enjoyed true crime documentaries and podcasts, her personal connection to a convicted murderer remained hidden.
Forum responses overwhelmingly expressed concern:
Many identified the prisoner as Chris Watts, known for murdering his pregnant wife and forcing his daughters' bodies into oil tanks
Most commenters distinguished between interest in true crime and seeking personal connection with murderers
Several warned against moving forward with the relationship
Some suggested she was "emotionally cheating" with the prisoner
This situation highlights a challenging relationship dilemma - discovering an unsettling secret about someone you love deeply and thought you knew completely.
Moving In and Future Plans
I've been in a serious relationship with Jay for over a year now. Things have progressed to the point where we've been discussing moving in together. We've talked about splitting finances and other practical considerations that come with cohabitation.
Our relationship was going so well that I even started looking at engagement rings a few months ago. Jay is intelligent, beautiful, and well-liked by everyone she meets. I truly believed she was the one for me.
About two weeks ago, I stayed at her apartment while recovering from a stomach bug. While looking for cleaning supplies after an unfortunate incident in her bathroom, I accidentally discovered something concerning. A shoebox fell from her closet shelf containing numerous prison letters.
The correspondence was between Jay and a notorious criminal who murdered his pregnant wife and two young children about five years ago. The letters dated back before our relationship started, with the most recent one from just three months ago. Their tone was affectionate, similar to what long-distance lovers might write.
This discovery has left me deeply conflicted. I love Jay and miss her constantly, but I'm struggling to reconcile this hidden aspect of her life with the person I thought I knew. I haven't confronted her yet about these letters, as I'm unsure how to approach the situation.
I'm now questioning our future plans. The excitement I felt about moving in together has been replaced with doubt and confusion. While I still care for her deeply, this unexpected revelation has made me reconsider the trajectory of our relationship.
The Illness and Unexpected Revelation
I fell ill with a stomach bug while staying at Jay's apartment. She kindly offered to let me stay there while she went to work, even promising soup upon her return. Unfortunately, during her absence, I became violently ill and vomited on her bathroom floor.
In my weakened state, I searched for cleaning supplies in her linen closet. Unable to reach the top shelf properly, I jumped and yanked down what looked like cleaning rags, accidentally causing several items to tumble down—including a small shoebox.
While cleaning up the fallen items, I noticed something unusual: envelopes with a prison return address from another state. Despite our mutual respect for privacy, curiosity overtook me. The shoebox contained numerous similar envelopes and drawings spanning from before our relationship began to just three months ago.
The letters revealed an affectionate correspondence between Jay and an imprisoned man. I immediately recognized the name—a notorious criminal who had brutally murdered his pregnant wife and two young children about five years ago. This case had received extensive media coverage, with the perpetrator initially pleading for his family's safe return before his guilt was exposed.
After reading several letters, I felt physically ill again. I carefully replaced everything, cleaned the bathroom, and made an excuse to return to my own apartment. Now I'm struggling with this discovery. I still love Jay deeply but find myself distracted and sleepless, unsure how to approach this situation or whether it's something I can move past.
Jay's interest in true crime never seemed unusual—she watches documentaries and listens to podcasts like many people. However, maintaining an emotionally charged correspondence with someone who committed such horrific acts has left me questioning everything about our relationship.
I had been planning our future together, even looking at engagement rings. How do I reconcile the woman I adore with someone who exchanges affectionate letters with a man who took three innocent lives in such a brutal manner?
Uncovering the Secret Correspondence
A remarkable situation emerged in early 2025 when a 29-year-old man discovered something disturbing about his girlfriend of over a year. The couple had been planning to move in together and were discussing finances, with the man even considering marriage.
During a weekend at his girlfriend's apartment, the man fell ill with a stomach bug. While cleaning up after being sick in her bathroom, he accidentally knocked down a shoebox from her linen closet. Inside were numerous letters with a prison return address.
The letters dated back before their relationship began, with the most recent from just three months prior. These weren't ordinary communications but contained affectionate language similar to what long-distance lovers might exchange. What made this discovery particularly troubling was the identity of the correspondent - a notorious criminal who had brutally murdered his pregnant wife and two young children approximately five years earlier.
This criminal's case had received extensive media coverage. After killing his family, he had disposed of his daughters' bodies in oil tanks with openings merely 8 inches in diameter, causing horrific damage to their remains. He initially participated in media appearances pleading for his family's safe return before eventually confessing to the murders.
The shocked boyfriend struggled with how to approach this revelation. He put everything back as he found it and made an excuse to return home, texting his girlfriend that he was feeling better and wanted to sleep in his own bed.
Key concerns raised by this discovery:
The girlfriend had never mentioned knowing or communicating with anyone in prison
The letters contained affectionate language inappropriate for correspondence with a convicted family killer
This occurred while they were planning their future together
The man felt conflicted between his deep love for her and this disturbing revelation
Many people commenting on the situation expressed alarm about someone maintaining a personal connection with such a violent criminal. They distinguished between having an interest in true crime documentaries versus actively seeking emotional connection with murderers.
The Revelations from the Letters
During a weekend stay at his girlfriend's apartment, a 29-year-old man discovered something disturbing while searching for cleaning supplies. After accidentally knocking down a shoebox from her closet shelf, he found numerous letters addressed to his girlfriend from a prison inmate. The return address indicated they came from another state.
Despite respecting privacy in their relationship, curiosity led him to examine these letters. He discovered correspondence dating back before their relationship began, with the most recent letter only three months old. The letters contained affectionate language similar to what long-distance lovers might exchange.
What truly shocked him was recognizing the sender's name. The inmate was a notorious criminal who had brutally murdered his pregnant wife and two young children approximately five years ago. This high-profile case had received significant media coverage, with the perpetrator initially pleading for his family's safe return before eventually confessing to the murders.
The discovery left the man deeply conflicted. He noted that while his girlfriend enjoyed true crime documentaries and podcasts, she had never mentioned corresponding with an imprisoned murderer. After reading several letters, he felt physically ill and carefully returned everything to its original place.
Online responses to his dilemma were overwhelmingly concerned:
"It's one thing to watch true crime shows, but craving connection with such people is alarming."
"Your girlfriend is emotionally cheating on you with a murderer."
"Any person associating with such a man is very messed up."
Many commenters suggested the boyfriend should reconsider moving in with his girlfriend. Some pointed out he was fortunate to discover this behavior before further commitment, noting that others sometimes learn disturbing truths about their partners only after marriage.
The situation raises uncomfortable questions about how well we truly know our partners. While some interest in true crime is common, developing personal correspondence with violent criminals crosses boundaries many would consider unacceptable in a relationship.
The Involvement with a Notorious Criminal
I discovered something deeply troubling about my girlfriend Jay that has left me questioning our entire relationship. While staying at her apartment during a sick day, I accidentally knocked down a shoebox from her closet while searching for cleaning supplies after being ill.
Inside the box were numerous letters from a prison in another state. Despite my respect for Jay's privacy, curiosity got the better of me when I noticed these unexpected items. What I found was shocking - correspondence between Jay and a man who had committed a horrific crime.
The letters dated back to before our relationship began, with the most recent from just three months ago. They contained affectionate exchanges that resembled those between long-distance lovers. While Jay has always shown interest in true crime media, this personal connection crossed a disturbing line.
The prisoner in question is responsible for one of the most publicized murder cases in recent years. He brutally killed his pregnant wife and two young children about five years ago. After reading several letters, I felt physically ill and carefully returned everything to its place.
I've been unable to sleep properly or concentrate since making this discovery. Although I still love Jay deeply, this revelation has thrown me into confusion. She has always been honest about her past, family, and childhood experiences, making this hidden correspondence even more bewildering.
The situation raises serious concerns about Jay's judgment and values. While interest in true crime is relatively common, forming a personal and seemingly romantic connection with someone who committed such atrocities feels fundamentally different.
I'm now faced with difficult questions about our future together:
Can I move past this discovery?
Should I confront her about what I found?
What does this reveal about her character?
Is this a warning sign I shouldn't ignore?
We had been planning to move in together and I was even considering marriage, believing she was "the one." Now I'm left wondering how well I truly know the person I've fallen in love with.
The Emotional Toll of Discovering Disturbing Letters
Finding the prison correspondence dramatically affected the 29-year-old man's mental and emotional wellbeing. After discovering his girlfriend had been exchanging affectionate letters with a notorious murderer, he experienced immediate physical distress—the letters literally made him sick. This visceral reaction prompted him to leave her apartment with a fabricated excuse about feeling better.
The revelation created significant cognitive dissonance. Prior to this discovery, he had believed he knew everything about his partner, including intimate details about her past, family, and childhood. He had even met her family members and could name all her previous pets, making this hidden communication feel like a profound betrayal.
His daily functioning deteriorated noticeably in the aftermath. He reported:
Struggling to sleep
Becoming distracted throughout the day
Missing her "every hour of every day"
Feeling unable to confide in mutual friends
Despite the disturbing nature of his discovery, his feelings remained complex and conflicted. He still professed deep love for his girlfriend while simultaneously questioning how to process this information. The timing proved particularly challenging as they had been planning to move in together and he had even begun shopping for engagement rings, believing she was "the one."
His internal struggle centered around reconciling the image of the woman he adored—described as smart, beautiful, funny, and "the best person I've ever met"—with someone who would maintain affectionate correspondence with a man who had committed horrific crimes against his own family. This contradiction left him isolated and confused about how to address the situation or whether the relationship could survive this revelation.
Community Reactions and Insights
When the story about a 29-year-old man discovering his girlfriend's prison correspondence appeared on a relationship advice forum, it quickly generated significant online discussion. The man discovered a shoebox containing letters while at his girlfriend's apartment, revealing she had been writing to an infamous convicted murderer who killed his pregnant wife and two young children.
Forum participants expressed serious concerns about the relationship. Many identified the prisoner as Chris Watts, noting the timeline and brutal nature of his crimes matched the description. Watts murdered his family and disposed of his daughters' bodies in oil tanks, actions that horrified many commenters.
The majority of responses urged caution or suggested ending the relationship. One commenter distinguished between having an interest in true crime media and actively seeking connections with killers: "It's one thing to watch true crime shows and be intrigued by aspects of how someone could possibly do something so extreme, but to write letters to someone like that..."
Some reactions were more forceful, with comments like: "Your girlfriend is emotionally cheating on you with Chris Watts and you're thinking of staying with her?" Others characterized the correspondence as indicating concerning personality traits: "Any person who would associate with a man like that is very messed up."
Several forum members expressed relief that the man discovered this behavior before moving in together or getting married. They referenced cases where people learned disturbing truths about their partners much later in relationships, suggesting this early discovery was fortunate despite the painful revelation.
The discussion expanded to broader questions about relationships and trust. Some participants contemplated the frightening scenario of discovering a partner's hidden violent tendencies, referencing historical cases like Seattle's extended period with an active serial killer that left residents fearful for decades.
Forum members also debated whether the girlfriend's interest represented a harmless fascination with extreme behavior or a genuinely troubling connection that required immediate action.
Reflections on Trust and Morality
Trust forms the foundation of any meaningful relationship. When we open ourselves to another person, sharing our vulnerabilities and histories, we create an implicit contract of honesty. Yet sometimes, disturbing secrets lurk beneath seemingly perfect connections.
Consider the case of a 29-year-old man who discovered his girlfriend's secret correspondence with a convicted murderer. This revelation occurred accidentally while searching for cleaning supplies during a moment of illness. The letters, hidden in a shoebox, revealed an affectionate relationship with someone responsible for horrific crimes against his own family.
The discovery presents a profound moral dilemma. Is fascination with true crime fundamentally different from seeking personal connection with perpetrators? Many would argue there exists a critical distinction between academic interest and emotional engagement.
Trust requires transparency about significant aspects of one's life. When someone conceals meaningful relationships—particularly those that might reveal concerning values or judgment—it raises legitimate questions about compatibility and shared moral frameworks.
The ethical implications extend beyond the relationship itself. What does it mean to exchange affectionate correspondence with someone who committed unthinkable violence? Does such communication tacitly minimize the gravity of their actions?
Key considerations when facing similar situations:
The difference between interest in criminal psychology versus personal connection
Whether concealment indicates awareness of problematic behavior
The emotional impact on victims' families when offenders receive supportive attention
What such relationships reveal about a person's judgment and values
This situation forces difficult questions about where to draw ethical boundaries. While having unconventional interests doesn't automatically make someone dangerous, pursuing emotional connections with violent offenders signals concerning judgment at minimum.
The challenge remains balancing compassion for human complexity against the need for shared values in intimate relationships. Each person must determine their own moral boundaries and whether certain behaviors cross unacceptable thresholds.
The Dilemma of Unveiled Secrets
Relationships are built on trust, communication, and shared values. Sometimes, however, we discover something about our partner that makes us question everything we thought we knew. A 29-year-old man recently experienced this when he accidentally discovered his girlfriend's hidden correspondence.
While staying at his girlfriend's apartment during an illness, he inadvertently found a shoebox containing letters from a prison inmate. These weren't just any letters - they were affectionate exchanges between his girlfriend and a notorious convicted murderer who had brutally killed his pregnant wife and children.
The discovery left him in a state of confusion and distress:
He couldn't eat or sleep properly
He became distracted during daily activities
He still loved her deeply but couldn't reconcile this revelation
This situation raises difficult questions about boundaries in relationships. Is having an emotional connection with a convicted killer simply an extension of true crime interest, or does it signal deeper concerns? Many would argue there's a significant difference between watching documentaries and maintaining personal correspondence with violent criminals.
Public reactions to such situations typically fall into several categories:
Perspective Common Response Concerned "This is a serious red flag that needs addressing" Alarmist "Leave immediately - this behavior indicates dangerous tendencies" Understanding "People have complex psychological interests that don't always reflect who they are"
The reality is that learning unsettling information about someone you love creates a profound emotional conflict. This man faces the challenging decision of whether to confront his girlfriend about the letters or to walk away from the relationship entirely.
The discovery happened at a particularly consequential moment - just as they were planning to move in together and he was considering marriage. Timing often makes these revelations even more impactful, forcing difficult conversations at pivotal relationship stages.
What makes this scenario particularly troubling is the secrecy involved. The girlfriend had shared intimate details about her life, family, and past, yet deliberately concealed this ongoing correspondence that clearly held emotional significance for her.
